Daily joke

[Vendingwarehouse]

I am going to put a daily joke on here and if anyone else wants to put one on PLEASE feel free to do so .
Daz you may want to put up just a joke forum , I don't know.
Please don't anyone take offence to any of them as none is intended and I will try to put as many men jokes as women jokes . Here goes

"A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.

Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect."

To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a **** like that."

[Coin Operated Group]

[Vendingwarehouse]

An elderly British gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically.

The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."

The British gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. The British always have to show their passports on arrival in France!"

The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look.

Then he quietly explained;

"Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any **** Frenchmen to show it to."

[Vendingwarehouse]

This could possibly suit a previous thread on here. Got this one from my friend as his son actually has it.



I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted, "Oi, what's your disability?"

I said, "Tourettes! Now **** off you ****!"

[FlintVending]

OK Then

Question - Whats the difference between Arthur Scargle and Gary Glitter.











Answer - Arthur Scargle hasnt touched a minors helmet in twenty years

[Coin Operated Group]

[Vendingwarehouse]

With the Easter weekend approaching a lot of people will be going to the seaside and visiting amusement arcades. If you live near one of these places it's a good time to play the following prank

1. Get loads of 2p coins
2. Get some Cillit Bang
3. Use the Cillit Bang to write swear words on the coins
4. Go to your local arcade and put them in the 2p pushes machines
5. Enjoy your Easter knowing somebody is going to win a 2p coin that you've written "****" on!

[Coin Operated Group]

That is pure genius

[Venderbase]

HAHA, love it.

[Vendingwarehouse]

Beer - is it good for you? The answer...
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter and sexier after a few beers.